It is sadly the case that may people do not even realise that they are in an abusive relationship as the abuse is not limited to physical violence and is not always obvious.

The best definition we have is “Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass, but is not limited to, the following types of abuse: psychological, physical, sexual, financial and emotional. Controlling behaviour can be termed: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour. Coercive behaviour can be described as: “an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten a victim”.

Domestic abuse should never be tolerated and most forms of domestic abuse are also criminal offences about which the Police should be informed. The police will – where appropriate – initiate criminal proceedings for assault and the new offence of controlling and coercive behaviour.

The Civil law also offers protection to victims of domestic abuse. In the Family Courts protection can be afforded by the making of a non-molestation order injunction (to stop domestic abuse) and Occupation Orders injunctions to force the perpetrator to move out of, or not return to, the family home.

See the links of organisations below which can offer help and support.